This article is written in collaboration with Fox & Cubs Nanny & Private Staff Agency, sharing a common commitment to children’s wellbeing and holistic support for families in the early years.
Sleep in children can be a complex thing to understand, because so many different factors influence it. So where do we start when it comes to puzzling out sleep in the early years?
Sleep Biology in the Early Years
Ever wonder why your child can seem exhausted one afternoon but wide awake at bedtime the next? Two invisible systems are working behind the scenes, and understanding them explains a lot.
Think of it like two clocks running side by side. One is called sleep pressure — a countdown that starts the moment your child wakes up. The longer they’re awake, the more it builds, fuelled by everything they do: running around, playing, learning something new, taking in sights and sounds. This is why watching your child’s cues often tells you more than a strict schedule ever could — though if wake windows have been working for your family, keep doing what works.
The other clock is the circadian rhythm — your child’s internal body clock. It doesn’t care how long they’ve been awake. It just quietly ticks 24 hours a day, telling the body when it’s “supposed” to feel sleepy and when it’s “supposed” to feel alert — asleep or not1.
Here’s where it gets interesting: naps mostly answer to sleep pressure, while nighttime sleep listens more closely to the circadian rhythm. And you actually have influence over that internal clock — by keeping wake times and bedtimes fairly steady, getting your child outside in daylight regularly, sticking to predictable routines, keeping meals on a consistent schedule, and making sure they’re getting the right amount of activity during the day.
Establishing a Routine
To be clear, this isn’t about enforcing a strict routine. A consistent bedtime routine is simply one of the most effective ways to support sleep. Regular, calming routines help children recognise when it’s time to wind down, and every family’s routine can be adapted to suit their own needs. Research shows that consistent bedtime routines can reduce night wakings and improve overall sleep quality2.
Working in partnership with your nanny is equally important here. When everyone follows the same routine and approach, children benefit from consistency and security — the foundation of healthy sleep habits.
Why Regulation and Co-Regulation Matter
Think about a time you were stressed and struggling to fall asleep. As adults, we’re able to regulate our own emotions — when we can’t sleep, we might snack, watch something, or talk to a loved one to help ourselves relax.
Babies and children don’t have this ability yet. Self-regulation is a skill they develop over time, with our help. When your baby cries, you rock them, feed them, and hold them — doing everything you can to help them settle. This is co-regulation, and it helps your child feel safe and relaxed.3
Providing co-regulation around the clock is hard for any parent to do alone — and this is where your nanny plays a vital role. It truly takes a village to raise a child. Together, you and your nanny help build your child’s regulation skills, one brick at a time. According to Greer Kirshenbaum in ‘The Nurture Revolution’ (2023)4 babies can have several different adults looking after them — different attachment figures, different people in their care circle — and each one might respond to them in their own way. Because of that, a baby can end up developing more than one way of finding regulation when they’re stressed.
Just having one reliable, responsive caregiver — someone who consistently shows up for them — is enough. That one person acts like a co-regulator, or an external nervous system almost, for the baby. And having them in the baby’s life is what builds the baby’s stress system toward hardiness, or the capacity to bounce back, over time.
Are Sleep Associations Really That Bad?
Sleep associations, as Dr. Lyndsey Hookway reminds us, are a completely normal part of parenting. Children naturally develop preferences around how they fall asleep, and these are not “bad habits.” Sometimes, though, they become unsustainable for a family, and that’s when parents may choose to make changes.
When change is needed, it should be gradual, gentle, and responsive. For very young babies especially, small adjustments — paying attention to tired cues, allowing appropriate awake time, and following a soothing routine, with parents staying present and emotionally available — are the most supportive way forward.
Temperament and Personality
Every child is born with their own unique temperament. Some are naturally more adaptable, while others need more predictability, reassurance, and support. Some are highly sensitive and alert; others are easy-going. None of these traits are good or bad — they simply help us understand who your child is. When we take the time to recognise a child’s resilience, their difficulties, and their personality, we’re far better equipped to choose sleep strategies that feel supportive, respectful, and truly effective for them.
0–6 Months
First and foremost, it’s essential to know the safe sleep guidelines, which you can learn more about from The Lullaby Trust.5
In the very early weeks of infancy, building the “perfect” sleep routine isn’t the priority — helping your newborn adjust to the world is. It’s completely normal for infants to want to be close to you.
So how can we help newborns with sleep? Infants aren’t born with a circadian rhythm; it develops slowly over the first few months. A few things can help this development along:
- Establish a distinct day-and-night routine.
- During the day, make sure your infant gets plenty of daylight.
- Keep household noise at its normal daytime level.
- Make sure both parents and newborns get some fresh air.
“Sleep Progression,” Not “Sleep Regression”
Many holistic sleep coaches prefer the term progression over regression for this stage. The reason is simple: around 3–6 months, sleep cycles begin to mature, which can temporarily make babies more unsettled. This age also brings huge developmental leaps, so it’s important that little ones receive plenty of attention and care from parents and caregivers during this time.
6–18 Months
What about 6–18 months? Is six months the “magic number” for sleeping through the night? Not quite — most babies still don’t sleep through the night at this age, and it remains normal for them to wake 1–3 times overnight6.
This is also a huge phase for learning new skills, and according to DeMasi and colleagues (2023)7, skill development can affect sleep — you may notice your baby waking more often or moving around more during sleep. Giving them plenty of opportunity to practice new skills while awake during the day can make a real difference. This is something both parents and their child’s nanny should be mindful of, supporting little ones to practice these emerging skills during waking hours.
Does a baby need the same amount of sleep at this age as they did at four months old? Not necessarily — as babies grow, their sleep needs gradually reduce. The amount of sleep your baby needed at four months old will differ from what they need between 6 and 18 months8.
Bedtime Battles in Preschoolers
Every new skill and developmental stage — potty training, starting school, the arrival of a new sibling, emotional growth, and more — can bring a significant adjustment period for little ones. Throughout all of this, it’s important that parents and caregivers guide them with empathy and understanding.
One of my favourite strategies for navigating bedtime struggles is the use of social stories — a simple story, prepared by a parent or caregiver, that walks a child through the process of their day in an easy-to-understand way. For example, you could include pictures of your child having dinner, putting on their pyjamas, brushing their teeth, reading a bedtime story, and finally getting into bed. Keep the words simple, positive, and familiar so your child knows what to expect at each stage. Another great way to support your child during bedtime is to create two personalised books featuring their favourite character. The first book can focus on what they love about the bedtime routine, helping them build positive associations with going to bed. The second can explore what they find difficult or uncomfortable about bedtime. Together, these books can help your child identify and name their feelings, express what is bothering them, and explore what might make bedtime feel easier, safer, and more enjoyable.
If you’re experiencing difficulties with your child’s sleep, don’t hesitate to seek professional support. You don’t have to navigate these challenges alone, and the right guidance can help you and your child develop healthier sleep habits and more restful nights.
References
6Brown, A. and Harries, V. (2015) ‘Infant sleep and night feeding patterns during later infancy: association with breastfeeding frequency, daytime complementary food intake, and infant weight’, Breastfeeding Medicine, 10(5), pp. 246–252. Available at: https://doi.org/10.1089/bfm.2014.0153.
7DeMasi, A., Horger, M.N., Scher, A. and Berger, S.E. (2023) ‘Infant motor development predicts the dynamics of movement during sleep’, Infancy, 28(2), pp. 367–387. Available at: https://doi.org/10.1111/infa.12519.
8Hirshkowitz, M. et al. (2015) ‘National Sleep Foundation’s sleep time duration recommendations: methodology and results summary’, Sleep Health, 1(1), pp. 40–43. Available at: https://doi.org/10.1016/j.sleh.2014.12.010.
1Hookway, L. (2021) Still Awake. London: Pinter & Martin, pp. 18–19.
3Hookway, L. (2021) Still Awake. London: Pinter & Martin, pp. 30–33.
4Kirshenbaum, G. (2023) The Nurture Revolution: Grow Your Baby’s Brain and Transform Their Mental Health through the Art of Nurtured Parenting. New York: Balance, an imprint of Hachette Book Group.
2Mindell, J.A., Li, A.M., Sadeh, A., Kwon, R. and Goh, D.Y. (2015) ‘Bedtime routines for young children: a dose-dependent association with sleep outcomes’, Sleep, 38(5), pp. 717–722. Available at: https://doi.org/10.5665/sleep.4662.
5The Lullaby Trust (n.d.) The Lullaby Trust. Available at: https://www.lullabytrust.org.uk (Accessed: 27 October 2026).
I am delighted to collaborate with Fox & Cubs Nanny & Private Staff Agency on this article about holistic sleep in the early years. As an agency that genuinely cares about family wellbeing, Fox & Cubs shares my belief in the importance of thoughtful, personalised support for children and their families.
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